“I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.”Harlan Miller
“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.”Katharine Whitehorn
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”Shirley Temple
“There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.”W.J. Cameron
“Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it “white”.”Bing Crosby
“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”Hamilton Wright Mabi
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”Bernard Manning
“A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.”Eva K. Logue
“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.”
“Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.”John Cleese, “Mony Python”
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Xmas morning is their husband.Joan Rivers
“Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.”W. C. Fields
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”Johnny Carson
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”Bernard Manning
“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”Erma Bombeck
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”Funny Christmas quote by Victor Borge
“Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.”P. J. O’Rourke
“Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.”Tom Sims
“Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money?”Tom Armstrong
“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”
“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.”Katharine Whitehorn
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”Shirley Temple
“There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.”W.J. Cameron
“Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it “white”.”Bing Crosby
“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”Hamilton Wright Mabi
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”Bernard Manning
“A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.”Eva K. Logue
“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.”
“Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.”John Cleese, “Mony Python”
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Xmas morning is their husband.Joan Rivers
“Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.”W. C. Fields
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”Johnny Carson
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”Bernard Manning
“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”Erma Bombeck
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”Funny Christmas quote by Victor Borge
“Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.”P. J. O’Rourke
“Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.”Tom Sims
“Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money?”Tom Armstrong
“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”
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